Guys. Mega problem. I’ve fallen in love with two things – and they can’t co-exist. I’m getting a dog next year. I’m saying this so it happens – because that’s what you’re meant to do with life-long hopes and dreams. Let’s outline how much I’ve wanted one thing and one thing only for my entire life:
A golden retriever. We each need as much attention as each other – it’s a perfect match, and would give Paolo some much needed time off.
“Hi! Hi! What are you doing! Want to talk to me? Want to cook me dinner! Hey! Guy! Hello!”
That’s his reality without a needy puppy. No delusion about the time and commitment doggie will require, but I need this dog. He’s already got a name. But his existence poses future problems to the Ugly Baby Empire. Renovating? Time? Money? … And laminate?
Future flooring: dog vs laminate
A tiny misfire watering a houseplant has proven laminate’s fragility around water – not to mention paw claws (they’re called nails, aren’t they?). It’s a shame because I already picked out the laminate for next time – a product known to nobody but me as ‘Mr. Darcy’. That’s how gorgeous it is.
If not laminate, then what?
If laminate’s out – then what’s in? Engineered hardwood or actual hardwood? Our floor was less than $2/sqft – do we add another zero for hardwood – and pay someone else to install it? Maybe we’ll have to put the dog to work? Give him a paper route. Make him audition for Air Bud XV. Whore him out as a dancer.
Google’s got answers?
- Hardwood: “Pet urine can stain the hardwood…” but if finished “with a high quality urethane, it will be more scratch and stain resistant” (Build Direct). A DIY Chatroom member recommends an “aluminum oxide acrylic urethane finish. Thickness of the finish will vary from one manufacturer to another. It can go anywhere from 3-9 coats, with 5-7 being average.”
- Engineered hardwood: Same problems as laminate, easily scratched. Not recommended.
- Bamboo: “It’s harder than the hardest hardwoods, meaning it will stand up to more traffic” and is resistant to stains. Strand woven comes particularly recommended (Build Direct).
- Cork: “[S]cratch resistant” with “excellent sound absorption” (perhaps not a big deal as we’ll hopefully buy a ground floor unit). It’s water-resistant but will discolour “over time when exposed to sunlight” (Build Direct). Are there installation costs for cork & bamboo?
- Tile floors: Scratch- & spill-resistant. Improve pet comfort with underfloor radiant heat (Brat Dog, coming right up?). Granite’s the hardest, while marble, slate and travertine are the softest. All should be sealed after installation. (Build Direct).
- Vinyl: I had a feeling I’d have more reason to love my groutable vinyl tile. This installation instruction video mentions that she chose it to stand up to her pack of doggies. Maybe the wood-effect vinyl planks are a good route? And cheapy cheap!
- Carpet: No. Not now, not ever.
Cost comparison – Our laminate was around $2/sqft, and Home Depot’s vinyl tile was less. Hopefully the next place will be slightly bigger, so there’s an added cost increase there as well. BuildDirect seemed to have the situation sussed out, they’ve videos of their Bring Your Dog to Work day, and they’re in Vancouver. So I’ll use their site for an average cost/sqft analysis.
Would it make sense – functionally and aesthetically – to perhaps use vinyl planks in the kitchen and living room, and laminate or something else we like in No Dog Allowed areas, e.g. the bedroom?
Ugly Baby II: where does the dog go?
Apartments? Not ideal for big doggies. People move to the suburbs when they’re planning to have kids – is it weird to shop for a house so your imaginary dog can have a better life? What would we have to sacrifice or rearrange in priorities to find a new ugly baby with a large, fenced ground floor patio?
House-train, then renovate?
Do we then live through a horribly ugly state of affairs until house-training is complete? Cut off pieces of shag carpet as we go? If dogs are afraid of vacuum cleaners, what’s he going to make of a Shop-Vac? How much acting will be required to convince the breeder we lead totally stable home lives? Where will he fit when the whole place looks like this?
Hmmm…. It’s tough, you know, being a middle-class girl in a first-world country. Major problems. Major problems.
P.S. Have you entered the Home Depot or Lowe’s gift card give-away?
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Dog photos c/o inajeep, Matt Armstrong, digital_image_fan and wablair via Flickr Creative Commons.
Hey, you want a s'more? Some more of what?
Shoulda saved that old carpet! It came prestained…
As for the shop vac, pets are like babies, expose them to the loud sounds when they’re young and they could give a crap about you vacuuming right up to their paw claws.
Just think, if you get a small apartment again next time and a dog, that just means you get to walk, and walk, and walk, oh and walk. You can introduce him to some of Van’s finer points..
Does the loud noise theory apply to “getting them used to wearing endearing costumes”?
A golden retriever is definitely the right guard dog for the east-side alleys I think you’re referring to….
I wouldn’t recommend vinyl plank. It was one of the three floors I put down in the kitchen of our last house and I hated it. Actually it was #1 of 3 and it was godawful. Never laid flat, cracked, popped up all the time. I don’t know if that’s because I bought it when it was a new product and they just hadn’t worked the kinks out, but I won’t use it again. My mom has laminate with dogs and cats–the really cheap 70 cents a square foot laminate–and I don’t think it’s scratched yet. Oh, and my last dog wasn’t afraid of the vacuum cleaner, she wanted to kill it and always tried to drag it off when I used it. It was hilarious.
Noted – thank you! When we put laminate in the kitchen & asked the guy about water damage he said “Who cares?” It’s $200 to replace the whole thing if necessary. Maybe bargain basement stuff is an idea after all!
I would go with bamboo – so long as you aren’t too picky about colour, which, of course, I am and couldn’t get a colour that I liked, so ended up with hardwood. I suspect that my imaginary dog and yours are hanging out, sniffing each others bottoms, just waiting for us. My problem is not a lack of space though – do you know how much it costs to fence half an acre? Oh, and all of your choioces will provide you with endless hours of fun watching them skidding all over the place. Really, carpet is best for for dogs, if not for their owners!
Hahaha – our dog obstacles (dogstacles!) are fairly opposite. Just start stealing sections of fencing from large events.
(Is it animal cruelty to put Lemon Pledge or maybe graphite on their paws??))
As the owner of two rather large, furry dogs, my experience has not been that house training is the messiest – it’s the HAIR and the SHEDDING!!. Hang a bell on the door and train the dog to ring it when he/she has to go out – worked for all my pups. (Maybe a rescue would have a slightly older but already housebroken puppy that would work for you?) I’ve heard that in places like NYC people PREFER big dogs because they don’t require as much walking, etc., and tend to have less energy than some of the smaller breeds so they’re actually good apartment dogs. My brother’s neighbor in Brooklyn had a Mastiff in a teeny tiny apartment. The dog slept all day
As far as the floors? I have laminate – My dogs run, skid, play, jump, drool, etc., all over it and there’s not one dent or scratch. My real hardwood stairs? They’re a mess from the dog’s nails.
Bottom line is that Dogs rock and none of the rest of it matters – ha! Good luck!!
The bell thing has just shot to the top of the “excellent things to train imaginary dog” list. So the Swiffering they create (shedding) works out evenly to the mopping they prevent (spilled food)? Sounds fair. Thanks for the laminate tip — and the dose of perspective!!
My cousin lives in Vancouver. She has a ground floor condo. One bedroom. Seems very nice but costly. She moved in with her dog Samsun. He is a golden retriever/ labrador and he is like a horse. I swear picture a tiny pony and thats her dog. With a super long tale, so keep that in mine for decorating table and the like. It works out tho. She even got a tiny second dog (french bulldog). Maybe you could bribe your neighbors into dog sitting during really messy/dusty reno’s?
oh and my friend has a golden retriever and that dog is the laziest fattest dog I know.
Costly is correct! I guess he grew into his name? Haha. Thanks for pointing out doggie tail safety — we’ll need baby gates maybe?