Meet My Ugly Baby

64 things from A to V: Quick – how many different Ikea products are in your home? I asked Paolo – he guessed 50. Not bad, not bad. I left to find out, and was gone for some time. When I thought I’d finished in the kitchen, I remembered to look in the cupboards. Added more. Later I remembered the lighting. And the rugs. Oh dear god, we’re Ikea whores. So much for my original plan – to eradicate it from my life entirely. Nope, I think Ikea’s here to stay. In fact, it’s breeding.

A and B

1. ÅFJÄRDEN – bathroom towels, beige – as seen in our renovated bathroom. So far, they’ve stayed fluffy & fold up well.
2. ÄPPLARÖ – gateleg table, arm chair & bench. Love them! Fold up in the winter & make a perfect outdoor desk in the summer.
3. BEHANDLA wood treatment oil – does the job, but smells bad – as mentioned in my Ikea butcher block review.
4. BEKVÄM – Kitchen cart – since hacked to match the cupboards
5. BLADET – big vase – we keep toilet paper in it. Writing that makes it sound weird. Is that weird? (Decide: bathroom photos).
6. BLANDA BLANK – Ikea calls these serving bowls, but that’s a hell of a lot of pasta salad. Put one atop another & you have a chihuahua-holder.
7. BOLLÖ – Folding chairs & table. Ugh. We’re not fat, but these are little chairs indeed. We’re still using them – painted white – as ghetto dining chairs. I don’t recommend coming to dinner at my house.
8. BORRIS – door mats for cheapy-cheap. They do the trick in our laundry room - we have 3 or 4. I call them all Boris Johnson.
9. BRÄDA – laptop support – ugly but useful, & highly recommended. They have a red & white stripey one now.

E through G

10. EGEBY – sisal rug – we put this guy in the kitchen to better protect the laminate floor from splashed water (see at in the last photo in the butcher block post). Really like it, though it’s a bit scratchy at first.
11. ENUDDEN – toilet brush, white
12. EXPEDIT – bookcase, black-brown – Some strong feelings about Expedit. I hated it in black, decided to tolerate it once painted white – and love it now it has organizers and drawers.
13. EXPEDIT drawer insert – 2 drawers, white
14. EXPEDIT shelf insert - Shelf insert
15. FÄRGRIK – 18-piece dinnerware set is a pretentious way of saying “bowls and plates”
16. FLÖRT – Box with lid – FLÖRT is the ugliest thing ever. It’s hidden away, used for immense CD storage. When the CDs go (soon, very soon), so too will FLÖRT.
17. FLYT – magazine file – death row for Paolo’s poncey magazines before I throw them away.
18. FROST – Drying rack  - very excellent & lives in secrecy under the couch.
19. GÅSER – Rug, high pile, beige – I walk in circles around this rug. It’s looovely, and extra squooshy for the laminate underlay we put underneath.
20. GROLAND – probably didn’t begin life in Sweden expecting to end up as a bathroom vanity.
21. GRUNDTAL – pot/utensil rails & hooks – filled up some big, blank walls & make emptying the dishwasher take half the time.

H, I, and K

22. HÅLLÖ- patio furniture seat pad, beige – the summer we had these was far preferable to the summer without.
23. HEMNES – 6-drawer chest, gray-brown for now – a big, meaty goodie who takes up half my bedroom but I don’t care.
24. IKEA 365+ – food saver/compost holder
25. IKEA STOCKHOLM BLAD – couch cushion, white, black
26. INGO dining table – he’s so little, and yet so useful. Far prefer him with shiny white legs.
27. INGOLF – kitchen stool. If we had the space, we’d have two. Any time we have a guest, they get their wine & gravitate here. It’s a nice spot for Office B, as well.
28. KARDEMUMMA plant pot – in every shape & size. All but two of our happy houseplants live within them.
29. KASSETT – CD box with lid, white
30. KASSETT – file box with lid

L through P

31. LACK – side table – I hate it but still need it.
32. LAGAN butcher block – someone told me it’s discontinued, & I’m really hoping it’s not true. Really like this butcher block.
33. LEDING – rack light with 3 spotlights (kitchen) – AND -
34. LEDING – track light with 5 spotlights (bedroom) – see both in our apartment’s before/after photos. I don’t love them, but they do the job.
35. LEKSVIK – 5x coat hook rack. So useful! Far prefer this to the laundry room’s previous closet rail.
36. LINGO – box with lid for paper… and sundry crap
37. LOCK – Ceiling light (laundry) – $4 & I’m not looking back.
38. PRUTA – food saver, set of 17 – enough of them to freeze our hefty garden harvest.

RRRRR….

39. RATIONELL – flatware tray basic unit (pretty good)
40. RATIONELL – Lid (not so good! falls off)
41. RATIONELL – Recycling bin (good for apartments! Handles!)
42. RATIONELL VARIERA drawer liner – transparent – I put it in the dishwasher, and it lived!
43. RATIONELL VARIERA box – kitchen bits & bobs holder (good for food processor attachments)
44. RETRÄTT – Knife block

S to V

45. SKUBB – box, black (clothes storage) – once filled and shoved up high in the closet, they’re too heavy for me to take down.
46. SKUBB – shoe boxes – good for things like hiking boots, otherwise too big for generic girl-shoes.
47. SKUBB – storage box, set of 6 – likes life in Hemnes very much.
48. SKUBB – storage case (winter clothes) – allows me to banish winter in the most satisfying of ways.
49. SOCKER – watering can
50. STOPP – anti-slip underlay
51. SVAJS – clothes cover
52. TEKLA – Tea-towel. 50 cents each? We’ll take a hundred.
53. VILDBÄR – Spray bottle – one for ironing, one for aphid annihilation.

(54-63) Products discontinued at Ikea including pillows, bedroom quilt, a side table, knives, forks, storage boxes, a floor cushion, a trivet and a hard-boiled egg slicer.

64. Oh, come on. Don’t these things rain from the skies?

So with that sick admission – I’m interested. Are we atypically attached to Ikea? Or are you just as dependent? What’s a healthy level of Ikea ownership? I think, this weekend, I’ll start looking for a life. (Does it come flat-packed?)