For posterity. For your edification.

(The fifth of my moving tips – read #1, #2, #3, #4 and #6)

For crying out loud. The nonsense left over after the professionals moved what should have been our every last possession:

• heavy, dirty plant pots on the balcony
• TV and computer monitor (would you rather break it yourself or watch it ruined in the hands of strangers?)
• 3x lamp shades (never found boxes big enough and didn’t want them to get squashed – ha!)
• mops, brooms, swiffers – totally annoying to transport
• bikes
• wine glasses
• 3 plates, an Ikea popsicle mould, 2 spoons, 1 butcher knife
• the full contents of our fridge
• wires and internetty crap, modems, etc.
• coats and our nice, fancy clothes

Note to self and other lazy cheapskates

• Once your suitcases are full, just buy the wardrobe box.
• Don’t be lazy, pack the damn wine glasses.
• Move stuff you don’t trust anyone else with before moving day. Even if it has to go on vacation to your parents’. Just get it out of the old place.
• Figure out what the hell to do with your bikes. We kind of forgot about ours.

The Idiot Check

That’s the last search through all drawers, cupboard and closets after you’ve cleaned and are ready to return the keys. That’s when we found our 3 plates, popsicle moulds, 2 spoons and butcher knife.

We might be idiots, but we’ve still got the capability to make icy treats.

The I-Told-You-So

Don’t leave stuff unpacked just because you can’t find a box. Those irritating lampshades should probably have been my first hint to call a green moving company. Moving drum shades naked and unprotected, we managed to smash one and dent another. A stupid move.

As for the fridge?

Next time, I’m announcing myself as a total charity case at least 3 days before moving. Friends, family, Rob Feenie: leave room at your dinner tables. I’m coming. Chucking out milk, and debating whether to keep or throw a barely used jar of mustard was the l-a-s-t thing I felt like doing after cleaning the oven.

Life’s too short for condiment attachment.

Moving! Not too many letters apart from mooching.