Houseplant successes in a not-so-sunny home

Sad but true – in the past year we killed every single houseplant we owned*. And we’re self-described plant people. Doesn’t make sense, does it? It took a long time to accept that the amount of light coming through the windows wasn’t the amount I wanted it to be. More than any other feature, the next apartment needs to have dual-aspect windows – otherwise rickets for me and certain death for the ficus.

Some plants died straight away -

“Do you guys not understand photosynthesis? We need light. You’re offering nothing but dust. We’ve voted to blow this popsicle stand”.

Others lingered – a pathetic hope we did little to encourage. The African violets hung on longest – until there’s that day you realize you don’t even like African violets and kick them to the curb, a treat for sadists everywhere.

This year’s ugly baby, now much lighter and brighter, asked for some company – we needed a new pack of plants. We approached houseplant acquisition with characteristic restraint: two empty baskets at the garden centre and so many plant babies wanting a home.

Paolo! Over there! The green one! Oh ok… and the other green one, too! Get two in case we kill the mother!

Like a What Not to Wear failure, I tried my best to remember design sense as it applied to plants in our apartment – shapes and colour and leaf texture. A bigger concern was choosing plants that don’t need direct sunlight. Cos they ain’t getting any. We don’t want them all shoved up against the windows, but with only two windows total… there’s little choice.

I found a few that had pinkish leaves – an ideal answer to my Paolo vs Pink problem. Not sissy pink but proper pink. It’s threatening to get all jungle-like in here – and I like it. Here’s the herd:

Bedroom:

• Dracena tri-colour rainbow (photo source)
• Benjamin fig tree (photo source)

• Peperomia clusiifolia ‘Jellie’ X2 (photo my own)
• Corn plant (also known as a happy plant?) (photo source)

Living room

• Boston fern (photo source)
• Sansevieria: (moved since taking the bedroom picture) care instructions with a cool tip for used tea leaves. (photo source)

• Pothos (photo source)
• Rheo plant (photo source)

• Areca palm (photo source)
• Echeveria Pulv-Oliver (photo source)

• Two children from the fivies. (photo source)
• My orchid: care instructions (photo source)

Any of these plants die on me and I’m going to take it personally. That’s 14 plants total – or one per 50~ square feet. Plenty enough to leave the jungle as-is?

* Except a pathetic looking cactus that’s ugly, so it doesn’t count.