Not just someone. Fifty or a hundred someones. I sense major house hunting competition. This entire afternoon, other awful people were looking at my apartment to renovate, my ugly baby, in awe – trying to make it theirs as well. Damn that 2nd open house. Why can’t there be an apocalypse to wipe out other ugly-baby-buyers? I considered returning for a [...]
OMGOMGOMGOMG. It’s so ugly. We’ve been looking – for months – for an apartment to renovate. We finally saw the potential ugly baby today, the ugly house with no listing photos. It’s so ugly. So ugly I laughed when I saw the bathroom. Actual LOLZ. So frightfully hideous I couldn’t stop smiling. A group of well-heeled Chinese [...]
House hunting takes a very long time. 60 days into our search and I’m realising it would have been better spent walking to Key West. Maybe I could have picked up some Detroit real estate along the way. I hate house hunting. No, really. I had no idea it would take this long to find an ugly [...]
While I’m looking for the ugliest house out there, agents are working against me – trying to sell properties for their beauty and features. Spinning not-so-great things as wunderbar. Endless talk of gorgeous, stunning, and spectacular. No. All wrong. I want anti-stunning. No stunning. It can have good bones, even benefits (light! bright! spacious!) but [...]
I think realtors are weird. Do they even know what a weekend is for? It’s for not getting dressed until, like, noon. At least. And if it’s raining? Why go outside ever? I only do so to hunt, then kill, a fat eggs benedict. As I’ve determined I hate house hunting, I’m beginning to pity a realtor’s weekend: [...]
Meet the worst realtor yet. I had to, so… so do you. As our weekends of non-stop Vancouver open houses continue, I’m starting to miss the beach. I think realtors are feeling it too. Still, I’m not getting paid to be there. This weekend we met Bro-Man Baseball Dude, destined for memory as Canada’s worst realtor. Really the [...]
Since our apartment-stalking became an earnest, all-consuming hunt, I imagine we’ve read over a hundred potential listings. Ones that – on paper – fit our needs and requirements: It correctly answers my 5 ugly house hunting rules And meets our 3 main requirements. And yet this is the suckiest, most heart-wrenching hunt ever. I hate [...]
Skim a batch of MLS listings (in our bracket, at least). Find outdoor photos: balconies gardens back patios decks (Did you see how I said gardens there? It was a trick. There are no gardens in our bracket). Anyway, 10:1, these outdoor chunks are the most unloved things you’ve ever seen. Small table, two chairs, done. “Can [...]
We’ve barely started and already apartment hunting kinda sucks. Where’s the eBay “buy now” button? We’re not used to looking and waiting anymore. The search criteria we gave Agent Awesome make it seem that we’ll settle for just any apartment, if the price and ugly factor are right. Not so. Girl’s gotta have standards, even when her [...]
Watch out Vancouver, it’s open season on your open houses. This Saturday was our first “Ok, now we’re officially searching” open house. Much different to the “Dude, I am totally being nosy and getting away with it” open house. Was I meant to dress up? I did. I made an OCD, colour-coded list of our attack-plan [...]
