$330.38 to never be late again (+ old people fight)

Isn’t it priceless when old people fight in public? We’ll get to that. First – evolution. The apartment laundry room didn’t just magically improve itself – it took exactly 50 bad ideas before someone else gave us the answer.

1. The closet with which we started. (Which led to the pipe dream. As illogical as always).
2. Back to reality: we moved in & it became closet/laundry room/tool shed/hell. Figuring we could better spend our renovation money elsewhere, we opted for budget barrel-scraping. “We’ll just paint it and make it look nice” + awful idea involving vinyl tile glue.
3. A lot to ask of twenty-five square feet. This much was clear: we’d need another new floor, plus storage bins.
4. Forget it – we have overhaul the entire thing. Thanks to mummies and Ikeas – the final step was the best (and very inexpensive) laundry storage solution that we completely love.

Expedit was renewed and adored, the vinyl tiles installed and grouted, and all surfaces were clean and painted. With that, our hired Baseboard Expert (my dad, paid in the leading world currency of my appreciation) was ready and waiting with some masterfully mitred baseboard cuts. Expedit tucked into its new home – and it was glorious. GLORIOUS!

(Behind the washing machine: I caulked under the baseboard as well – will hopefully keep it less dusty). The baseboard kept coming in off the balcony at a rate we indoors could barely keep up with – and suddenly there were questions about framing the laundry room door. When and where would the bi-fold door hit?

Standing back and looking at the 90%-finished closet… we all realized it wasn’t a closet anymore. It was a room! We couldn’t stop looking at it – and neither of us wanted to put the closet door back on. We wanted to look at it all day, every day.

Our only concern was that it’s historically in a shocking state and doesn’t make much of a first impression. Would Expedit 2.0 & the plastic bins keep us presentable? … A curtain? No more wrestling a bi-fold door that hit the dryer door? Um, yes!? An Ikea purchase sorted us out – and the trip meant certain proof: it’s not just young couples who have The Ikea Fight. As we chose between Beige A and Beige B we overheard a retired couple absolutely lose their minds arguing about the opacity of sheer curtains.

The fighting part:

“They’re see-through, Jean.”

“Donald! It says on the label they don’t let in light.”

All this in the poisonous whispers of the married-40-years-and-loving-it.

“It’s impossible. Just hold it up to the light there. Hold it up.”

“Why won’t you believe the label? It’s telling you right there.”

“Jeanie it’s illogical. Hold it up to the light. Look.”

Donald tries to tussle with the curtain, while Jeanie asks “Why do I even bother? Why did we even come here?” She storms off towards tea lights and Donald curses quietly, a broken man. From a distance they looked adorable.

Back to things that matter – the curtain went in, and it’s a million times better than bi-fold.

A few finishing touches…

NO to huge coat rail – YES to discreet coat hooks

Turns out that you don’t need winter coats and ski jackets hanging on a rail all year. We bought a very simple coat hook from (ha – guess) Ikea, and everything out of season has gone in a SKUBB under our bed. (Our what!?! Our BED! Stay tuned, dear people, for this is another story still!) They live under there with all of Paolo’s excessive athletic equipment. This frees up enormous space.

YES to finally having somewhere for household stuff

Where the closet used to eat coats, we now have a huge area to keep the ironing board hung on the wall, the vaccuum cleaner lives care-free on the floor, and a Swiffer + mop/bucket tuck behind the washing machine. None of these things can be seen unless you head back there and go looking (please don’t). On the floor we have room to shove and hide things if a surprise visit calls for it, and an extra doormat for muddy boots. Not that we’re the kind of people who have muddy boots.

YES to wet shoe salvation

A cheapo doormat stays on the floor for immediate kicking-off of wet/muddy shoes, and a milking stool does double duty for “hey hold this, stool” and sitting on to take off shoes. You can’t see it because I sat on it to take this photo. That’s how convenient it is.

YESSSSSSSSS to labelled storage bins

Never undertake renovations without them. They’ve changed our lives.

Paolo, where are the brass nipples?

I don’t need to ask – they’re in the plumbing bin!

Other magic byproducts:

1. It’s essentially a mud-room with laundry included. It’s finally solved my baby-gate problem of visitors leaving shoes on (a pet peeve that ignites white rage).
2. It makes the extra space much more obvious – rather than assuming the shut bi-fold door is just a tiny coat closet*.
3. Best of all? I think we’ve unearthed an actual room – transforming an overlooked and scary closet for basically nothing. Can we call this Gold Medal Added Value?
4. Best-best-best of all?

Costs? 

Paint

• remaining 1/3 of the can from the bathroom – $0

Floor

• (vetoed: vinyl tile + vinyl tile glue) – around $25
• adhesive vinyl tiles – $40
• grout + supplies – (remaining from bathroom) – $0
• Baseboard – 20 linear feet or so of Home Depot’s value pack – around $25

Storage

• Expedit + paint – already had – $0
• Storage bins – Walmart? – around $40
• Labels – printer paper + packing tape – $0
• Under-bed storage box for extra coats – SKUBB – $12.99

Extras

• Ironing board hooks – $5
• Coat hook – Ikea LEKSVIK – $17
• Doormats – 3x Ikea’s cheapest option, BORRIS – $3
• Curtain + curtain rail – Ikea LENDA + BESKÅDA – $40 + $8
• Light – Ikea LOCK - $4
• Incidentals: caulk, cleaning supplies – $5

SUB-TOTAL: $224.99 (+ $26.99 sales tax) = $251.98

+ Pimped-out Expedit

• 1x drawer insert – $40
• 2x shelf inserts/shoe cubbies – $30

TOTAL: $251.98 + ($70 + $8.40 sales tax) = $330.38

Yup. Gold medal time. And some of that bubbly business too. (Who thinks Donald’s still sleeping on the couch at Ikea?)

*A brief history lesson. Closet is a late 14th century word for “small enclosure or private room”, and wasn’t associated with storage until the early 1600s*. So there’s proof-positive, we’re all meant to have closets the size of full rooms – and we’re not meant to share them.

** A brief cultural lesson. Grant the Kiwi has some Ikea Survival Tips — as learned in a Swedish Ikea. This is as real as it gets!

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