Can you fix the hole in my dining area?

Jan 232012

Help! My apartment’s got a stupid hole in it. After the Domino Debacle, I’m still pretending our little dining table, Ikea Ingo, is an extra desk – tucked not so elegantly against the couch.

This leaves a huge wall and a huge void – some 15% of our total apartment is just… a weird L-shaped dance floor. We use it for an over-sized laundry drying factory, a dance floor and whirling dervish practice space.

apartment dining area Can you fix the hole in my dining area?

Extra space isn’t a problem per se, but I think it looks a little funny – and we’re treading towards staging time. If Ingo actually fit adult humans around it, we’d put it back in the middle and sup from it. Instead, shivering on the balcony table almost makes a better dining experience. I’d rather spend nothing at all – but recognize this as a stubborn trend with predictable results. Do we need to simply suck it up and replace Ingo with a proper dining table and chairs? We liked this chunky chap – but think it clashes with our floor. (And, please, let’s put our days of painting Ikea behind us – first Ingo, then Bekvam, Groland, Expedit and Hemnes. Enough!)

apartment dining area 2 Can you fix the hole in my dining area?

The kitchen is huge & I think the living area around the couch is now nicely defined. Do we need some dining bling-bling? Do apartment-dwellers actually dine? They probably dance, right?

apartment dining area 3 Can you fix the hole in my dining area?

What’s needed on the nekked wall? Art? Mirrors? Shelves?

Increase the global karma supply – donate some genius ideas for this weird L-shaped void. Help!

What sucked & succeeded on last year’s balcony

Jan 202012

[Part 2 of 2. Previous post: revisiting last summer's balcony garden + full plant list].

I’d made wild and determined promises about growing the most gorgeous balcony garden last summer. It wasn’t. Certainly I loved it, but it wasn’t categorically Best In Show.

balcony gardening tips 1 What sucked & succeeded on last years balcony

Learned? A lot.

  • Growing from seed: we grew 18 things on the balcony plant list from seed (or bulb).
  • Name recognition & pest patrol: I must know a hundred more plant names, and can better fend off an aphid or whitefly attack (with a ready spray bottle of Dr. Bronners & veggie oil).
  • Compost success: Another boon was the worm compost! The first time we’ve had ready supplies to dish out through the growing season. Happiest hosta I ever saw.

balcony gardening tips 6 What sucked & succeeded on last years balcony

  • Fully kitted out: We also built a potting bench and then a cold frame – better realizing what our plants would need.
  • Cuttings: We’re getting better at taking cuttings, too. Last year we tried to propagate our scented geraniums and fuchsia. By November we had a big tub of mould and death. Fairly certain we’ll have better success this year.

This year’s balcony garden plan: The 2011 experiment has given me better ideas for staging & selling time – while enjoying the balcony for as long as we live here.

1. A few pots, a few very attractive pots will be magic. (Something we might need to save up for – higher quality pots. The bargain-bin Home Depot black plastic ones… the love’s wearing thin).

2. Does it smell nice? I wonder how much the Westin spends to churn out their “nice white smell” into hotels all over. Gazillions, surely. What IF our balcony smelled that good? Honey-scented alyssums were a happy accident staying totally true to their name.

3. Magic number? I’ve heard it’s best to grow things in threes? More versions of the same plant, with less total variety?

balcony gardening tips 5 What sucked & succeeded on last years balcony

4. Trailing things, tall things, green things. This year, I definitely need more trailing things (to disguise my ugly pots) – as well as to plan out better height. A better coordination of colour, as well as different shades of green. It was very lush, but all the same shade of green. Commit to memory: consider better height, leaf texture & scent.

5. Avoid heavy plant pots - they suck to move. Don’t grow a jungle – but try to learn just as much again!

Lots more books to read in the mean time. For a good primer & planting reference, I really recommend McGee & Stuckey’s Bountiful Container. Would anyone really notice if I just chucked a half dozen orchids on the patio table for a lying piece of open house deceit? Maybe if it’s still snowing outside….

Revisiting last summer’s balcony

Jan 192012

Little bastards. I’d done my homework – in a big, sick, OCD-way. All winter I’d read stacks of books on gardening – making sure I’d better know my way around the garden centre come spring time. Finally I could stray from impatiens… petunias… geraniums. I’d skulk around the plant nursery on a May long weekend: queen bee of plants.

In particular, I wanted to get better at container gardening. With our veggies packed off to our community garden plot, the balcony just had to be pretty. With grand schemes, we went.  I skulked. We bought a dozen new babies & gently tucked them into the car. Then what?

balcony gardening tips 3 Revisiting last summers balcony

They grew. Some more than others. You know how, when you adopt an animal, they check you won’t kill it through neglect & total ignorance? The business plan of a plant nursery depends on the very opposite. By July, I realized the assembly didn’t look good. Balcony containers looked messy & droopy; plants were indistinguishable as they flopped on to each other.

Growing on our balcony – 2011

  • (Spring: Crocuses, daffodils & tulips)
  • Trailing lobelia
  • Parsley
  • Snapdragons
  • So many impatiens they were visible from space
  • Basil
  • Spanish love vine (in italics so you read it in a Penelope Cruz voice)
  • Some orange filler thing with trumpet-shaped flowers
  • Fivies
  • Ornamental grasses – a very manly sounding plant
  • Lavender (pathetic things grown from seed plus a baddie from the nursery)
  • Sucky-ass coleus (3 kinds)

balcony gardening tips 2 Revisiting last summers balcony

  • 2 confused and lanky tomato plants
  • Pineapple sage
  • Sweet peas (no good)
  • Honey-scented alyssum (very good)
  • Scented geraniums (One “over-wintered” and barely hanging on, another bought at the nursery – grew 3 feet tall with 6″ leaves… not a single fucking flower)
  • A hosta! (the first one we haven’t killed!)
  • Various failures with Scottish and Irish moss (“Oops” says the English girl)
  • Outstanding smash hits with 2 lily bulbs
  • A too-tall and quite lanky Queen Victoria lobelia (pretty, but funny-looking on its own)
  • Some reddish dock thing that Paolo liked – looked like a weed to me
  • A bay plant
  • Mint

balcony gardening tips 7 Revisiting last summers balcony

  • Accidentally seeded wild flower (pretty but way too tall)
  • Marjoram that just kept coming – totally my new favourite herb
  • Rosemary that totally, utterly bit the dust
  • Petunias we gladly let die
  • A half-dozen gladiola bulbs that never flowered
  • A pink thing called “pink flirtation”
  • Lettuces that attracted major aphids
  • Potatoes
  • A spotted dead nettle unimpressed with my attempts at over-wintering.
  • A tree peony that wasn’t sure if it liked us or not
  • And the world’s most disappointing blueberry bush (net total: zero blueberries).

That’s… 41 different types of plants. In about 10 pots. No wonder it was ugly – that’s an acid trip with leaves. I took very few photos of the accidental ugly baby balcony garden. Instead, here’s a gratuitous shot of Vancover in August. It’s not always gloom & doom:

balcony gardening tips 4 Revisiting last summers balcony

This list was a surprise to me – no idea I’d gone so far overboard. “Shove it in, shove it in”… perhaps not the slogan of Successful Balcony Gardening. While I now know the name of  at least 38 more plants… this year we’re having 1 fern & that’s it.

One for the Canadians: Welcome Home [Book]

Jan 182012

Know any random home-buying rules and regulations? Of course not. They’re someone else’s concern. So goes the likable tone & approach of the author, Sarah Daniels, a local BC real estate agent.  She “recommends needing only this (quite thin) book and your common sense to either buy or sell” (page 3). Is the book – Welcome Home: Insider Secrets to Buying or Selling Your Property (2010) – made to measure for a first-time seller with little patience? Let’s see.

welcome home sarah daniels book review One for the Canadians: Welcome Home [Book]

 I like it because:

  • Math and financial things are explained in sentence, not equations.
  • It offers lots of  staging tips, with the summary: “If it feels like a hotel, it’s ready to sell!” (page 76).
  • It’s a local perspective – Vancouver-specific points and illustrative anecdotes.
  • More reasons not to sell-by-owner – Sarah says it’s a full-time job.
  • She provides ‘buyer beware’ examples in a casual, conversational tone.

“[I]n Vancouver, a recent check showed fewer than 50 detached houses in the entire city limits listed at less than $500,000″ (page 22). Gah! Bastards.

Ew, I didn’t know that! You pay HST on realtor commissions? E.g. A typical realtor commission on a $500k home would be $17,000…. plus 12% HST…. bye-bye $2040 more monies (page 37).

Tone: Lots of “hecks”, though far fewer than from our old friend Jay. Still, she’s likable and knows her audience. Explaining tax implications of buying a new home she quips, “I didn’t make the law, so don’t start looking for me” (page 125).

4 examples of how strata living can suck – so be careful (page 111):

  1. Use of elevator to move furniture requires notice and a fee;
  2. Regulations on draperies and window coverings;
  3. No bbqs;
  4. No Christmas lights.

“Read all documents regardless of how boring they are!” (page 116). Except, in the book, this is in caps.

She covers reasons not to flip a house, all of them valid, making me certain that we’re not ‘flipping’ but rather renovating a home we’ll sell sooner or later for more space. I can see her point – it’s risky if your intended result (price tag) doesn’t materialize when you need it to, either because of market conditions or your overly personalized décor (page 145). She then goes into matters about adding a second suite and renting it to tenants – I skipped this part as it didn’t apply.

Tip! As soon as you close on your home, find a mover  (page 192) – I might do some research and get some quotes over the winter. Last time our movers were SO bad (any recommendations?).

“I always recommend that my clients hire a professional maid service to do the final cleaning of their old place” (page 193). Yes!!!! Agree!!!!

Another tip! On moving-in day, “book a locksmith to come by and re-key all the external doors” (page 195).

maple leaf5 One for the Canadians: Welcome Home [Book] Covers Canada? Nothing but.

1 reason to read it? Knowledge acquisition.

Conclusion: It’s a few hours’ insight, tips & experience from a local agent – not all of it applies to me because I know what I want & what I can afford. Still, this books covers Canadian basics for all aspects of buying/selling new vs old buildings, strata vs freehold, apartment vs townhouses vs house-houses.

I was born to be this lazy

Jan 172012

Mr. Spray Man came to do his magic tricks. I felt guilty – surely I should be helping? Not actual helping but the getting-in-the-way helping:

“Want me to tape that for you? Need a coffee? No? I made one anyway. Want me to rearrange your tools in order of size, colour or prettiness?”

He needed no help. There was but one job to do: vanquish ugly. Results? So, so, sooooooo glorious. Bad before/after photos after this brief anecdote.

The tale of the soap holder that said no. I’d allotted about 3 seconds to take before photos, before Mr. Spray Man arrived. Instead, I decided I should extra-clean the tiles & bath tub. Mr. Clean joined the party – so many Misters in such a tiny bathroom – and I used up all my Moment Allocation in cleaning. When I got to the second of our two seventies soap holders, it hit Eject. If it couldn’t be ugly, it didn’t want to stay. I hadn’t put more than the thought of pressure on the soap holder, when the whole thing smashed into the tub. (An escape? A revolt?) Like a wiggly tooth, it had been hanging on just long enough to mess with us. Had we not cleaned the bath tub twice, we’d have an $800 brand new bath tub… wrecked & ruined moments later by a mutinous soap holder. (Mr. Spray Man arrived 3 seconds later & I had to show him a gaping hole in the wall. He laughed, and stuck the bastard back on with Never-Coming-Off-Glue. Then sprayed it to death as punishment).

So no apology for bad photos – just pleased at a  paranoia disguised as poorly planned house-pride.

cleaning paint rollers 9 copy I was born to be this lazy

bath tub after I was born to be this lazy

This crap iPhone photo is to match its bad friend. Use your pretending & agree how much better it looks, while also pretending that it’s perfectly white – and that you’re imagining the ghostly apparition.

…Oh, and the actual Someone Else Does the Hard Stuff? … I don’t think I can ever go back. Who knows anyone who’s rich and amenable to quick sham weddings? Lazy needs cash.

Count it: Exactly how much Ikea do you have?

Jan 132012

64 things from A to V: Quick – how many different Ikea products are in your home? I asked Paolo – he guessed 50. Not bad, not bad. I left to find out, and was gone for some time. When I thought I’d finished in the kitchen, I remembered to look in the cupboards. Added more. Later I remembered the lighting. And the rugs. Oh dear god, we’re Ikea whores. So much for my original plan – to eradicate it from my life entirely. Nope, I think Ikea’s here to stay. In fact, it’s breeding.

A and B

Ikea A to B Count it: Exactly how much Ikea do you have?

  1. ÅFJÄRDEN – bathroom towels, beige – as seen in our renovated bathroom. So far, they’ve stayed fluffy & fold up well.
  2. ÄPPLARÖ – gateleg table, arm chair & bench. Love them! Fold up in the winter & make a perfect outdoor desk in the summer.
  3. BEHANDLA wood treatment oil – does the job, but smells bad – as mentioned in my Ikea butcher block review.
  4. BEKVÄM – Kitchen cart – since hacked to match the cupboards
  5. BLADET – big vase – we keep toilet paper in it. Writing that makes it sound weird. Is that weird? (Decide: bathroom photos).
  6. BLANDA BLANK – Ikea calls these serving bowls, but that’s a hell of a lot of pasta salad. Put one atop another & you have a chihuahua-holder.
  7. BOLLÖ – Folding chairs & table. Ugh. We’re not fat, but these are little chairs indeed. We’re still using them – painted white – as ghetto dining chairs. I don’t recommend coming to dinner at my house.
  8. BORRIS – door mats for cheapy-cheap. They do the trick in our laundry room - we have 3 or 4. I call them all Boris Johnson.
  9. BRÄDA – laptop support – ugly but useful, & highly recommended. They have a red & white stripey one now.

E through G

Ikea E to G Count it: Exactly how much Ikea do you have?

  1. EGEBY – sisal rug – we put this guy in the kitchen to better protect the laminate floor from splashed water (see at in the last photo in the butcher block post). Really like it, though it’s a bit scratchy at first.
  2. ENUDDEN – toilet brush, white
  3. EXPEDIT – bookcase, black-brown – Some strong feelings about Expedit. I hated it in black, decided to tolerate it once painted white – and love it now it has organizers and drawers.
  4. EXPEDIT drawer insert – 2 drawers, white
  5. EXPEDIT shelf insert - Shelf insert
  6. FÄRGRIK – 18-piece dinnerware set is a pretentious way of saying “bowls and plates”
  7. FLÖRT – Box with lid – FLÖRT is the ugliest thing ever. It’s hidden away, used for immense CD storage. When the CDs go (soon, very soon), so too will FLÖRT.
  8. FLYT – magazine file – death row for Paolo’s poncey magazines before I throw them away.
  9. FROST – Drying rack  - very excellent & lives in secrecy under the couch.
  10. GÅSER – Rug, high pile, beige – I walk in circles around this rug. It’s looovely, and extra squooshy for the laminate underlay we put underneath.
  11. GROLAND – probably didn’t begin life in Sweden expecting to end up as a bathroom vanity.
  12. GRUNDTAL – pot/utensil rails & hooks – filled up some big, blank walls & make emptying the dishwasher take half the time.

H, I, and K

Ikea H I K Count it: Exactly how much Ikea do you have?

  1. HÅLLÖ- patio furniture seat pad, beige – the summer we had these was far preferable to the summer without.
  2. HEMNES – 6-drawer chest, gray-brown for now – a big, meaty goodie who takes up half my bedroom but I don’t care.
  3. IKEA 365+ – food saver/compost holder
  4. IKEA STOCKHOLM BLAD – couch cushion, white, black
  5. INGO dining table – he’s so little, and yet so useful. Far prefer him with shiny white legs.
  6. INGOLF – kitchen stool. If we had the space, we’d have two. Any time we have a guest, they get their wine & gravitate here. It’s a nice spot for Office B, as well.
  7. KARDEMUMMA plant pot – in every shape & size. All but two of our happy houseplants live within them.
  8. KASSETT – CD box with lid, white
  9. KASSETT – file box with lid

L through P
Ikea L to P Count it: Exactly how much Ikea do you have?

  1. LACK – side table – I hate it but still need it.
  2. LAGAN butcher block – someone told me it’s discontinued, & I’m really hoping it’s not true. Really like this butcher block.
  3. LEDING – rack light with 3 spotlights (kitchen) – AND -
  4. LEDING – track light with 5 spotlights (bedroom) – see both in our apartment’s before/after photos. I don’t love them, but they do the job.
  5. LEKSVIK – 5x coat hook rack. So useful! Far prefer this to the laundry room’s previous closet rail.
  6. LINGO – box with lid for paper… and sundry crap
  7. LOCK – Ceiling light (laundry) – $4 & I’m not looking back.
  8. PRUTA – food saver, set of 17 – enough of them to freeze our hefty garden harvest.

RRRRR….

Ikea R Count it: Exactly how much Ikea do you have?

  1. RATIONELL – flatware tray basic unit (pretty good)
  2. RATIONELL – Lid (not so good! falls off)
  3. RATIONELL – Recycling bin (good for apartments! Handles!)
  4. RATIONELL VARIERA drawer liner – transparent – I put it in the dishwasher, and it lived!
  5. RATIONELL VARIERA box – kitchen bits & bobs holder (good for food processor attachments)
  6. RETRÄTT – Knife block

S to V

Ikea S Count it: Exactly how much Ikea do you have?

  1. SKUBB – box, black (clothes storage) – once filled and shoved up high in the closet, they’re too heavy for me to take down.
  2. SKUBB – shoe boxes – good for things like hiking boots, otherwise too big for generic girl-shoes.
  3. SKUBB – storage box, set of 6 – likes life in Hemnes very much.
  4. SKUBB – storage case (winter clothes) – allows me to banish winter in the most satisfying of ways.
  5. SOCKER – watering can
  6. STOPP – anti-slip underlay
  7. SVAJS – clothes cover
  8. TEKLA – Tea-towel. 50 cents each? We’ll take a hundred.
  9. VILDBÄR – Spray bottle – one for ironing, one for aphid annihilation.
Et cetera?

(54-63) Products discontinued at Ikea including pillows, bedroom quilt, a side table, knives, forks, storage boxes, a floor cushion, a trivet and a hard-boiled egg slicer.

  1. Oh, come on. Don’t these things rain from the skies?

GLIMMA Count it: Exactly how much Ikea do you have?

So with that sick admission – I’m interested. Are we atypically attached to Ikea? Or are you just as dependent? What’s a healthy level of Ikea ownership? I think, this weekend, I’ll start looking for a life. (Does it come flat-packed?)

If I lived here forever? 4 things I’d change.

Jan 122012

The wish-list for what will never be.

apartment changes If I lived here forever? 4 things Id change.

  1. Different doors: Change the bathroom door into a pocket door. Fellow Vancouverite, Karen, promises it’s money well-spent – but it’s a job saved for next time – Tiny Ugly Bathroom II
  2. More plants: Install an actual green wall (because there would magically be enough light & I’d magically have the patience for plumbing all those hidden hose pipes).
  3. No tub: Ditch the bath for a glass shower stall.
  4. More Ikea: In the kitchen – one of those Ikea Akurum tall cabinets – for vacuums and mops – somehow tucked in secrecy. (Had we added one this time, it would have eaten 15% of our kitchen renovation costs. Eee).

It’s a wish-list formed of self-serving brattery… but do any add value? #4 might – more storage – but #3 probably negates it. Apparently some people like to simmer in birthday suit stew….

I think I’m ready to move now… a list this short, it doesn’t seem right. What’s on your Not Gonna Happen list? Or – a bolder inquiry – what would you do to my apartment if money/science/neighbours weren’t in the way?

###
Photo sources: pocket door, green wall, shower stall, & Ikea Akurum.

Growing potatoes in pots – nature’s still laughing

Jan 112012

Ever try to bend nature to your will? And how does that usually work out? Uh huh. Last spring, with uncharacteristic greed, we bought 2 kilos of seed potatoes – half Russet, half Yukon Gold.. That’s a lot of potatoes, far more than our little community plot could handle. To address the excess, I thought I’d grow some potatoes in pots on the balcony.

Attempt 1: I planted four in a nice, chunky planter. Forgot to mention this to Paolo. He later heads out to the balcony, all green-fingered, and plants lily bulbs in the same thing. We didn’t realize for months. If you remember our bathroom “after” photos, you’ve already guessed: the lilies won.

Attempt 2: Undeterred, I tried again with another pot. Things went well – too well – because one day I realized my potatoes were all leggy stem and little else. Here’s where I tried to tell nature where to shove it:

growing potatoes in pots 3 Growing potatoes in pots natures still laughing

I pulled off all the side shoots and leaves from the 2-foot tall potato stems, and then rigged up this contraption. My hope? I’d trick the potato into growing roots where its leaves had once been. I knew at the time it was doomed but a stubborn “grow, damn it” streak can’t be stopped. While the top of the plant above the new soil line was very happy, nothing ever grew on those very long stems.

growing potatoes in pots 4 Growing potatoes in pots natures still laughing

But it could have. Had I paid better attention and hilled them up slowly, correctly, I think our potatoes-from-a-pot harvest would have far surpassed this:

growing potatoes in pots 1 Growing potatoes in pots natures still laughing

Do as I say – Successes & failures of pot-bound potatoes:

  • Good: the cardboard pot-extending contraption worked perfectly – not a drop of soil escaped. (Use 3-4 shims shoved inside the pot & staple the cardboard to them). I later wrapped the outside in that black landscaping fabric & it blended right in with our normal pots.
  • Bad: too greedy – I put 3 pieces of seed potato into this small pot. One would have been plenty.

growing potatoes in pots 2 Growing potatoes in pots natures still laughing

Done properly, one small pot would have meant a summer-long supply of balcony-grown new potatoes. Hilled-up, I think the plant’s quite handsome – and very green. It added some nice height and lushness as it kept up with its neighbour: the lilies.

If I lived on the ground floor, I’d try growing them in garbage cans. Until then I’ll definitely repeat the process with pots – properly. Incidentally, our community plot potatoes were our most successful veggie last year – taking first place in our 2011 total garden harvest. Maybe greed’s a good thing?

 

What happens when you ignore good advice?

Jan 102012

Ages ago, I received a very thoughtful and earnest email from a home staging professional. It was right after my turquoise paint colour post – and she was begging me to change my mind. The email read:

I’m a home stager – don’t cringe, I’m not going to pitch you on my company – and I couldn’t help but feel compelled to write when I read about your paint colour crisis. Potential buyers don’t like accent walls or walls in colours other than neutral. There, I said it. When buyers see walls in blue or green for example, they are automatically going to see that as work that they need to do when they move in. Unless of course your colour choice matches their taste and ‘things’ perfectly. Soft greys are your best friend when painting to sell. Beige is so 90s so stay away and white is just bad news. Introduce colour to the rooms with art and accessories – that’s my advice.

I thanked her for the email – and then promptly ignored the advice. I wanted turquoise – buyers be damned. Which is why we’ll never make good by-the-book flippers when living in the same place we’re renovating. Emotion gets involved. I hate grey.

neutral paint for selling apartment 1 What happens when you ignore good advice?

We’ve picked the opposite of neutral colours – turquoise apartment with yellow bedroom? It sounds bad. Garish. Easter egg basket. My hope is that they’ll stand out for good reasons not bad. Julia’s Hooked on Houses site features unbelievable MLS listings … like one time they had a bear. And another time, a life-sized stuffed bear.

In Vancouver, (perhaps just in our price range, perhaps because we hunted ugly – correct me if I’m wrong), we’ve seen unloved and cluttered places… not just in listing photos but also at open houses. Recall this scary beast, the very first apartment we ever toured. Ok it’s a total dump – but there have been others! Won’t clean and tidy suffice? And you can just be thankful you can see the paint?

vancouver apartment cabinets What happens when you ignore good advice?

What about Oscars dresses? Maybe you don’t like yellow – maybe you hate yellow – but you might sometimes concede a particular actress looked good, pulled the outfit together and made a good impression. Oui? Is it possible for buyers to see beyond yellow paint and to think – I like the feel of this room? Here’s hoping.

neutral paint for selling apartment 2 What happens when you ignore good advice?

Because, as much as I like a white farmhouse kitchen look – white cabinets, wooden butcher block counters…. this look is never seen in Vancouver apartments. It’s all sleek, modern, and – yep – grey. Why no farmhouse?

I suppose the test of the coming months is this – Can I tow my own line and wind up with a buyer who agrees? Perhaps all the shiny stuff will attract our money-bag magpies.

Domino Book of Decorating… vs my dining table

Jan 092012

Two truths. 1) I picked this book up because it matched my walls, and, 2) I had no idea what Domino was. Which is why you’re rolling your eyes as I review & test out a book released in 2008. Domino, apparently, was quite the cult. As I’ve since become best friends with author Deborah Needleman, I wonder. Could Domino: The Book of Decorating kick-start a major reluctance to decorate?

domino book decorating review Domino Book of Decorating... vs my dining table

A year ago I’d have thought that the renovating was the hard part. Once clean and painted, it was a matter of some cushions and a picture frame. I thought I’d dealt with the ugly baby’s neediness – now it wants to be pretty, too?

No! Tough! Go away! Leave me alone! I want my life back! And my wallet!

Domino magazine’s wiki page suggests trouble in paradise – it formerly appealed to the woman who “wants to have fun on the never-ending search for items for her home.” Never-ending!? A worse entertainment hell than Settlers of Catan.

So, Domino Decorating, talk straight to me. I want my apartment to get decorated quick, so I can forget about it, drink my damn wine and read my damn book. I need help now. Maybe the more I learn, the less time decorating will take? Or I can learn to enjoy it?

Chapter 1 - Ohhh, Deborah. You’re starting from absolute basics… just for me.

  • Tip 1: Start an inspiration file! “The best system is the one you’ll actually use” – whether online, on a tack board or in a folder (page 12). I already had one – and I thought it was cheating. A rainy day project will be to sort through, cull the dross, and better know my preferred style.

While I’d sat down to read an educational book, I soon felt guilty. With gorgeous fonts, colours and tons of photos – it was an indulgent treat. Finally – a hefty, hardback magazine with no ads. Heaven. Why did it not come with jam and scones?

Chapter 2 – The book walks you through a house, much as you would look around one. It got me thinking of open houses and first impressions. The entry way? Deborah says it needs to smell nice. Easy enough – I can handle decorating after all.

Deborah takes a kindly “What Not To Wear” approach – teaching the names of a dozen table styles without hint of pretension. Which table best suits a given room’s size, style and purpose? I’d never given our entry area much thought, and soon I was saying “nice to meet you, ‘demilune’” (page 32-33).

We continued around the apartment – me and Deborah – and I was soon eyeing the entry way, dining area and bedroom suspiciously. To now I’d believed that decorating ideas could do little to help our boxy apartment, as we have none of the space/light/features of typical magazine homes. Deborah disagrees – it’s not a bulletproof excuse.

Would I be more excited to put in the effort after reading this book? I read on, and turned eventually to Domino’s edgy classic – a room with our turquoise walls. It was a cohesive creature indeed, and Deborah explained that its “painted ceiling creates a sense of being wrapped in color” (page 52). Looking up at our half-massacred, half-painted ceiling, I hoped Debster hadn’t noticed.

domino decorating book Domino Book of Decorating... vs my dining tableSource: Domino: The Book of Decorating, via Love Design Barbados

Domino decorating seems as big a project as the entire renovation to date. Our blanks walls and empty corners need “pieces” and “accessories”. Once found and paid for they might indeed look pretty – but what a massive undertaking. And what of the risk in making this apartment too personalized – surely not recommended for selling?

The book’s intro promises it’s for real people – then proceeds to show us the home office of Lily from Gossip Girl. Wiki again – a Domino reader was typically 37.5 years old, and had a 6-figure household income. Oh. 

It’s no hardship spending a rainy afternoon in Domino Deb’s company – but I now know I have real decorating problems, and I wasn’t finding much to solve them. (Or, perhaps, the available advice required considerable cash outlay and lots of wishing & hoping).

Finally. Page 204. “No room for an office? Try a table behind the sofa…”. I have a table. I have a sofa. And why have two desk areas when I could have three? Every fidgety freelancer’s dream. A few hours later and I moved into Office C:

domino decorating book review 3 Domino Book of Decorating... vs my dining table

domino decorating book review 21 Domino Book of Decorating... vs my dining table

domino decorating book review 4 Domino Book of Decorating... vs my dining table

We so rarely use Ikea Ingo as a dining table, and I love looking straight out to the balcony plants. It’s warmer than my real desk, anyway. Not a permanent solution, and maybe it’s created other problems – but that’s all this pikey was able to transform after her date with Domino decorating.

maple leaf Domino Book of Decorating... vs my dining table Covers Canada?  Na, Deb doesn’t love you like that.

1 reason to read it? You, as well, have picture frames on your walls with nothing in them.

Conclusion: Pretty book, pretty photos. Aspirational afternoons rather than instant improvement.

Anyone else drawn success from Domino’s decorating book?

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